Rejection

But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter of mine head. Psalm 3:3

Deflated. Disappointed.

I thought the job was mine. I interviewed well last week. I prayed about it. I had others pray for me and in agreement with me.

I saw myself working there. My friends and family were excited and happy, assuring me that this job was mine.

Today I learned that the position was given to someone else.

And I’ll admit, it stings.

I went for a walk because nature tends to soothe me. I looked into the sky with tear-filled eyes. I remembered to look to the hills from which comes my help (Psalm 121:1) and calm came over me. He gently reminded me of what I had prayed—I had asked that in my job search, that the Lord would not allow doors to open for jobs that were not meant for me.

Even when we think we know what is best for ourselves, we must trust the One who knows our end from our beginning; our Father, our Creator. He loves us beyond measure and He didn’t promise a fair or easy life, but He did promise strength for the journey and that He would be with us. Always.

Prayer: Father God, disappointment hurts. I really wanted this job. But I know that You have my best interests at heart, and I thank You. I trust You to continue to lead me in this job search, and that you will lead me to a position that is a good fit for me. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Employment Affirmation/Confession

The Lord is mindful of me. (Psalm 8:5)

I allow the Lord to guide me in my job search and on the job. (Psalm 119:105)

I encourage myself. (1 Samuel 30:6)

When I am weary of the job search, the Lord gives me strength. (Isaiah 40:29; 2 Samuel 22:33; Philippians 4:13)

God is my hope. (Psalm 31:24)

I am an asset to my next workplace. (Matthew 5:13, 16)

I rely on the Lord to guide me. I look to the hills from which comes my help. (Psalm 121:1)

My mind is supernaturally focused. (Isaiah 26:3)

I am my Holy Father’s child. (I Corinthians 6:20)

When I feel defeated and question my skills, I remember that He loves me more than I can conceive. I am worthy of a good job. (I John 3:1)

 I can have a great job, career or vocation. Jesus died so that I may have life and have it more abundantly, and this is part of that promise that I stand on! (John 10:10)

 I am special to my Heavenly Father. (Hebrews 2:7)

I am fearfully and wonderfully made! (Psalm 139:14)

I am gifted, useful and my skills are viable. (Proverbs 18:16)

The Bible is full of examples of how our Lord uses cracked vessels in a mighty way. He invests time, talent and treasure in me. And I am grateful! 

Prayer: Heavenly Father, in this job search, I will remember that, as my Creator, You know what I am best suited for in my employment. Sometimes I am overwhelmed because there are so many different jobs out there! I'm not sure what would be a good fit for my skills and talents. I don’t want to spin my wheels nor waste my time applying for jobs that are not a good fit for me. I ask You, Lord, Who knows my end from my beginning, to guide me by Your Spirit. If there are jobs I have applied for that are not for me, keep those doors closed. I know that the job suited for me is out there. Show me where to look, who to speak to, and how to gain access to those positions. What You have for me is just for me. I know that You are able to open doors for me that no man and no demon can keep shut.

Thank You in advance for helping me, for loving me, fixing me, equipping me, and qualifying me. Prepare me for the beauty, the blessings, and fullness of abundant life that You said I can have. I can do all things through Christ who is my strength, and  I am emerging victorious! Thank You for moving on my behalf. May You get all the glory!  In the name of Jesus, Amen. 

Starting Over or Level Completed?

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up…Ecclesiastes 3:1-3

 “Your season here is up.”
As I sat in Human Resources on Sept. 8, that’s what I heard in my spirit.
I racked my brain trying to think of what I could have done that was so wrong for them to make clear to me that I was no longer welcome at my job.
Let me be clear: Part of me wanted to tell them what I really thought of them and this job.
But then I heard that phrase quietly in my head and an odd sense of peace came over me.
Don’t cry, don’t get mad, I told myself. Keep your head up.
Heading back to my office, with students heading to class and the cafeteria, I felt like I was in a daze.  Banners for events I helped plan meant nothing anymore.  
That was a Thursday. On Sunday, I cleaned out my office.
In the 3 years I’d been there, I knew something wasn’t right. There were some amazing highs, but devastating lows. I’d taken 2 stress leaves in those 3 years. I knew I couldn’t stay somewhere that was not good for my mental health.
But I’m an optimist who tends to focus on the good, so I likely would have stayed beyond what I should have.
This had to happen.
Now it’s time to get my faith up and believe God for better, for next level, because this level is completed.
Let the healing begin.

 Said I’ll never leave you, promise to stay always. You can count on me when you need a friend. If you put your trust in me, you will never be lonely. ‘Cause I’ll be by your side till the end.

--“Til the End,” William Becton & Friends

A New Gig

Here we go again…starting a new job.

I don’t know what to expect. It’s a new, grant-funded program, so myself and two others are basically contracting our services for a year. Then, if we’re “lucky,” as our supervisors inform us, we may be hired on.

I was raised when you worked a job for 30 years and retired.

That was shot when my reporting job of 16 years ended in 2010; 40+ jobs were eliminated in the newsroom alone. It still exists, but the paper is only a shell of itself, run by a handful of just-out-of-college kids.

I’ve never quite bounced back from that financially. I’ve had one full-time job in the past eight years, piecing part-time work together with teaching college courses (the pay, nationwide, is dreadful, but that’s a whole other blog), subbing, and the like.

As mentioned in the last blog, the last gig was retail. And it wasn’t the greatest, but I believe that we learn from life situations, and from that I learned to appreciate those who work in retail.

I also learned that I needed to do something different. I needed work that challenged my mind, used my skills, and gave me some creativity and flexibility.

I think I’ve found that in this new job. As I haul items from home to personalize my cubby (yes, a desk job!), I have a new joy.  

But this is no time to relax. I’m challenged to show what I can do, to sell myself, of sorts, on how valuable I can be. I know I’m being watched by others in the department. I’m careful to be pleasant, to dress appropriately even when some of them are super casual, and to look as if I belong there among my full-time, benefitted and vested co-workers.

I am no less than them. There are people who have said they would not do this job because it doesn’t pay enough. I heard someone once say that sometimes you have to make a lateral move, or a move that appears to be taking a step down, when it’s really in preparation for propelling you forward.

Yes, I am the woman for the job, which provides a steady, consistent check for my household, as well as an opportunity to show my talents and hone new ones.  

 The contract is for a year. The ball is in my court. This is my time to shine.

Prayer of Gratitude

Father God, thank You for Your Son, Jesus Christ. You are my strength, my Rock and my Redeemer. I am indeed grateful for this new job, which is another stop in my life journey. I’m excited about the untold opportunities You are giving me through this job—Thank You! You see everything. You see those who are struggling on the job hunt. You see those who are piecing work together just to keep their households afloat. I ask you to strengthen those who are heavy and burdened (Psalm 119:28). You see people who are miserable on their jobs, who believe their choices are limited. But in YOU, oh God, we can have hope! (Psalm 31:24, 38:15) Jesus died so that we may have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10). Part of the abundant life is joy and peace, and living, working, and doing what we are purposed here on earth for. Work is important to You and it’s important to us. Please bless those who are seeking a change in their work lives, and may they give You the glory, honor and praise. In the all-powerful name of Jesus, Amen.

Retail...Really?!

"Sometimes to get what you want the most, you have to do what you want the least." -- livelifehappy.com

Until December, I spent a better part of the year working three jobs.
Third shift at a women's shelter, freelance writing, a shelver at a library, and teaching a class at a local college. (Yes, there is an inordinate amount of college instructors/adjuncts who often hold down more than one job because they are part time with inadequate pay and no benefits. But that's a whole other blog entirely)
Oh, and hosting a radio show once a week.

In December, I quit the shelter due to a health scare. Also in December, the contract for the college teaching job ended. Thus, I needed to find work.
Quickly.

So I applied for "easy" gigs, places that I thought I would have no problem getting hired.
Never worked retail before...but, I asked myself, "How hard can it be?" Wrong.

I was hired at a local big box store and I politely asked for a certain department because I was sure there would be low foot traffic there. Wrong again.

The nice ladies in personnel were only too happy to oblige my request. After all, I overheard them during our training say that they had no-shows left and right. It was the height of the holiday season, and they just needed warm bodies, at that point.

And I should have known when my department manager only asked me one question during the interview and then said, "Ok, you're good."

So after an inordinate amount of mind-numbing training, I found myself, at age 47 and with no prior retail experience, thrown to the wolves during the holiday season.

After one full day, I learned that working retail is not for the squeamish, nor the soft.
My back ached. My feet throbbed. My ample derriere was accustomed to seated office jobs--in no way was I ready for 8-hour days on my feet. Not to mention other associates informed me (regularly) that no one ever stays long in my assigned department because it's so chaotic.

Hang in there, my friends said. Put your big girl pants on, my mom said.
And my sister said with a bite: "You've got bills to pay."
So I went back, but after the first week, I made up my mind. "I'm out of here."
I wanted to scream.
How did I get here? I wanted to tell everyone I ran into, "I'm not like these other workers, I'm not cut for this! I'm not supposed to work retail! I am college educated! I have experience in an array of areas!"

Then I wanted to cry and went into full pity-party mode.
"Doesn't my expertise count for anything anymore? What's wrong with me?
Why can't I do what I want to do? Why can't I find a job that's in my purpose?"

Then a friend reminded me gently but firmly, "Teresa, you're not any better than anyone else."

That was a turning point for me.
I began observing the other associates. They were from all walks of life. Some looked as exhausted as I felt. Some looked like zombies, the walking dead. Others were chipper and seemed good with their job.

I decided I had to find a way to make the best of this. I prayed about how I could treat this job as a new challenge.
I asked the Lord to help me see this job with fresh spiritual eyes, to help me to be a light for Him in my department. How would I do that? By smiling, helping customers as best I could, and keeping any negative comments to a minimum.
I pledged to avoid looking at the clock so often, which only made me wish my day away.
I also brought a small notebook and Bible to my lunch breaks. I needed strength from His Word to help me to endure this.
I also reminded myself that this is only temporary, a point during my life journey to get me through to the job that I really want.
It helped.
I guess it's true: It's all in our outlook, how we choose to see things.
Make no mistake, I'm not thrilled about retail. But it's a job. For now.

If you're in a similar job situation, here's a prayer starter: 
Lord, thank You for giving us strength, and humbling us. Thank You for blessing us to work to sustain ourselves, even if it's a job we only tolerate, do not like, or even despise. Helps us to remember that our hope is in You. You want us to work, because there are many references in Your word about working. Hear our prayers to endure, and hear our prayers to obtain jobs and/or careers where we find meaning, impact and purpose. Refresh and strengthen us to do what we must to sustain ourselves and keep our households afloat. Thank You in advance for hearing and answering our prayers, and for shining Your light through us. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

*UPDATE* 5 Years Later...

Psalm 3:3 But You, O Lord, are a shield for me; my glory and my honor,
 and the One who lifts my head. Amplified Bible

I started this blog in January 2013.
I didn't know it still existed.
Even though I was relieved to find it, it's not so much a relief that, after five years, I'm back in the underemployed boat.
Actually, I got out of it, but not for long.
I work 2-3 part-time jobs, and I'm still applying for the seemingly elusive full time job with benefits.

If you recall, when I composed this blog, I was desperately seeking a full time job.
I worked 16 years in a newspaper as a journalist, in a job that I envisioned retiring from.
Then came the massive "reduction in force."
Between 2008-2012, I saw our newsroom alone dwindle from 40+ people to less than 20. We were still expected to produce as much as the original team.
The stress of the daily deadline and my job hanging over my head became too much for me.
My doctor took me off work for 2 weeks on medical leave -- stress and depression.
Two weeks led to a year.
The week I returned, I was pink-slipped.

So after being  downsized in 2012, I shortly thereafter completed my master's degree. My thought wasn't so different from that of many others--with an advanced degree, getting another job will be a cinch.
Not so.

I applied for many different gigs, from professional to, yes, hospital housecleaning.
I had a family and a mortgage. I was willing to do what I had to do.

However, not a nibble, not a bite. I couldn't understand it.

What a relief when my local community college offered me an adjunct gig teaching freshman English. Didn't pay much, and there were no benefits, but it kept my resume active. I was so thankful for the experience and, of course, the checks.

Sometimes I would cry on my way to and from work, wondering when my situation would change. But I would pray through my tears, and keep saying that I believed God had something for me. I didn't know what and I didn't know when, but I asked for strength to endure until things changed.

So the purpose of this blog was and still is this:
If you are currently unemployed or underemployed, hold on.
I know it's difficult. It's a job in itself just looking for a job.
I've had many rides on that awful emotional rollercoaster.
I'm all too familiar with the rejection emails and phone calls.
I know you get weary filling out application after application.
I know you wish people would see you as a person, that they would see what you have to offer, and not just words on a resume.
Please don't give up.
And as I talk to you, I'm talking to me...our change is coming.

Prayer
Dear Lord, thank You for giving me a heart to work. Lord, you know my frustrations. You have seen my efforts. I ask you to bless my job searches, my applications, my networking. Help me to be fruitful and not to spin my wheels. I don't have time to waste--I want to get on with my job and/or career. In the meantime, help me to hear from You. Lead and guide me today. When I lay down to sleep, refresh me, rejuvenate my mind and my body for the next attempt. Help employers to look with favor upon my resume and applications. I will give you all the glory both now, and when the job is obtained. Thank You in advance. Amen.

Bear One Another's Burdens...and Fill a Balloon!

"Somebody prayed for me, had me on their mind
took the time and prayed for me.
I'm so glad they prayed, I'm so glad they prayed,
I'm so glad they prayed for me." -- Lyrics by Dorothy Norwood and Alvin Darling

Gotta love those rejection letters in the e-mail inbox.
Do you find yourself cringing when you see an email with HR in the "from" line?
You know the feeling well: It is deflating, seemingly the air is let out of your imaginary balloon. That job that you pictured yourself in. That position that seemed like such a good fit for your skills and talents. And the one where the work schedule seemed to be perfect for your family's busy schedule.
*sigh* Sometimes it's all I can do to open e-mails nowadays.
But we must continue to click on those emails because we need to have HOPE. Who knows? One day you could open an email and there is an invitation to come in for an interview.
But we won't know unless we keep applying, and keep hoping for the right fit.
I like to think that those rejections aren't really rejections at all, but God's way of saying "I have something better on the horizon."
And how do you gather hope? Through belief and prayer, and sometimes, if you're too weary to pray, the prayers of others.
Thank the good Lord for praying friends and family. Recently I've received simple text messages from loved ones saying they are praying for my family. **whoosh!** My balloon just got fat with air! And last weekend, a meeting with 2 friends about a children's event we're planning ended with powerful prayer and lots of tears.
We are called to bear one another's burdens. We don't know what people are going through, from unemployment to health issues to finances to personal challenges...
As the song lyrics above say, "Somebody prayed for me, had me on their mind, took the time to pray for me." Who is the Spirit of the Lord leading you to pray for today? It could make a world of difference. You never know whose balloon you could be filling.


Prayer: Lord, thank You for friends and family who pray for those other than themselves. Thank You for blessing me to benefit from the prayers of others. Help me to get my mind off my issues, troubles and challenges, and to remember to pray for people who are living in worse situations than I am. You said in James 5:16 that the prayers of a righteous man avails much--it feels good to know that my prayers matter! Thank You for hearing and answering our prayers. In the name of Jesus, amen.